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By night Rachel wrote erotica. Or dreamed of unknown lovers-lover, she corrected herself silently. He felt so damn real. It wasn’t fair. she agonized, practically tasting him, smelling him, feeling his fingers playing along her skin. She wandered through the living room, bee-lining for her computer. Maybe being dateless for so long was taking its toll. Passing the kitchen table, Rachel grabbed an apple from the ceramic bowl before proceeding to the living room where she kicked off her shoes, threw her coat and purse on the couch and watched her computer whir and blink to life. Then she opened up the piece written last night about her dream. After re-reading it a few times she corrected a few typo’s, changed a few graphs and decided to submit it to the erotica site she contributed to now and then. Even if it was driving her crazy, it would make one helluva story. Within a week the story was approved. Emails and messages started filling her mailbox and desktop. Most were encouraging. Julia and I were sitting in a little coffee shop in Hawthorne. She was prattling on about something. I wasn’t really listening. I clearly remember reaching out and putting my hand on hers. Then I heard myself saying, ‘Julia. I think I’m falling in love with you.’ Julia’s eyes got large. She pulled her hand away. Then she stood and ran – I really mean ran – from the coffee shop. I was too stunned to even follow her. How could I be such an ass? Does my mouth have a mind of its own? I could have died there on the spot. Not because of what I said, but because I knew it was true. I drove home wanting to die, wishing I’d kept my big mouth shut. That night I couldn’t sleep. The next morning I went to work and couldn’t work. That night I drove home from work still wishing I could have kept my mouth shut. I was lost. At home I sat in my den staring at the wall. I couldn’t think. I didn’t want anything. The phone rang. I answered on the third ring. It was Julia. ‘I’m sorry about last night.’.
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